My Way Out

I've said it, admitted it,
Spoken my defeat.
I'm hating it, despising it,
I know that I've been beat.
It's holding me back, breaking me down,
Consuming me alive.
It's underneath, where no one can see,
It's hidden behind my closed eyes.
My fear controls me, traps and holds me,
Like the pen that writes these lines.
It's raiding me, persuading me,
Scrambling my mind.
It overtakes me, tries to break me,
Forcing its way in.
It's turning me, and churning me,
Becoming my worst sin.
It's blaming me, prevailing me,
From everything I know.
It's purging me, and urging me,
It keeps telling me "no."
It's driving me, depriving me,
I see the end in sight.
It's keeping me, I'm deepening,
It's getting dark as night.
Obviously, no one can see,
How hard it's pushing down.
I'm confident my life will end
I've found that's my way out.
My fear has torn me, stretched and worn me,
I've chosen my one route.