Angel or Demon?

What am i to be, an angel or a demon?
one who merely saves what can be saved,
or destorys everything around himself.
could i be both without knowing it?

Do i bring them a second chance at life
or merely bring them to their demise
what was i put on this earth to do?
to this i sit looking into the stars

What will i be in the end of my time?
a savior or maybe a hero perhaps?
or maybe ill be the human races end?
could i possible be a god on my own?

Do i even have the right to save lifes
or even take away the very same life?
should i just sit an do nothing at all
letting fate or destiny rule this world?

Is my own fate already decided for me ?
do i lack the ability to change my destiny?
my own life will be what i choose it to be
but what will be final outcome of my life?

like two sides to a coin, so am i as well
having seen one side as well as the other
but which will i choose, the angel or demon?
or will i go on with them coexisting as one?

Sleepless Guardian

O how i yearn for a world
one without death an sadness
one that i could truly smile
O what a dream that would be! 


Yet i live in such a world
that i cannot fall to sleep,
theres too many ones i protect
to fall asleep for an eternity


A price on my head for caring
protecting those in who need it,
Yet rarely finding peace within 
my own thoughts, selfish arent i?


I, myself am an angel yet a demon 
A simple flip of a coin determines 
who will deserve help from the angel
or feel the wrath of the demon within


The darkness within me ever so great
yet the love in me keeps it at bay
helping those who deserve the help
yet squashing those who get in my way


I remain the ever awake guardian
even in such times against my will
sworn to protect those i love 
destroying those of which i hate


Will i ever be free of my own curse?
or simply toil away until all is lost?
Only time itself will tell the tale of
the guardian looking for eternal peace

Lost In A Unknown World

I sit here looking upon the stars
hoping for some sort of answer
i have no drive to push forward
day by day i change who i once was


I realize sitting alone in the dark
may seem frightening to some of us
yet it gives you a chance to reflect
even tho you may still find no answers


I once had a fire like burning drive 
one that kept me doing day n night 
now i simply toil away from the pain
sitting in darkness with my thoughts


Sleeping seems to be my only freedom 
from the thoughts within my own head
constantly searching for the right path
yet finding millions of wrong ones instead


Is it possible for me to find my own path?
What will bring back that burning drive,
that i once held so deeply in my own heart?
Whom or what will save me, from my own self?

Birthday For A Lost Soul

Today is a day for happiness
today is a day of true sadness
this day marks your 16th birthday
yet you are not here with us now


Days like this serve as a reminder
of those who have come an gone
ones we had loved so much an lost 
that reminds us of the time we shared


For some it brings about laughter
for others it brings on agony
in both ways showing our love 
for those who we miss dearly


"Happy birthday sis" are merely words
that yet hold so many feelings now
wishing for just one single day
that you could see them once again


Today is your 16th birthday jess
a day out of the year where 
i dearly  wish to see your smile
even if for just one day now


As you rest in peace my dear sis
i wish you to know one thing 
youll always remain in everyones
heart, forever in my own heart

One Heart With Two Sides

This heart of mine is a conflicted indeed

On one hand its filled with love and joy,

On the other its contains misery an pain

Just as every coin has two sides, so do I

One side feels love, happiness, a feeling that

Causes my heart to want rejoice from the joy.

The other side feels lonely, incomplete, feelings

Wanting to overtake everything else I feel inside

Is there something wrong with my own heart,

Or is it merely destiny that makes me feel this

Am I destined to always face this ongoing fight,

One that could possibly last until the my end?

Is there a cure in sight for this heart of mine

Someone, something, anything  that could find,

A way to take away the dark side of my heart,

Or will I lose the fight within my own heart?